Re-Branding 2012: Sam’s Club And Lysol Or Animatronics®?


“Willard has shamelessly telegraphed how much he cares about the 99% his entire adult life — from college days of pro-war demonstrations he’d rather not talk about on through his mission work punctuated by multiple deferments from serving in that same conflict — all of which he has labored to forget. As a businessman, Willard would never allow his most-cherished bottom line to sacrifice itself to less-deserving wage earners — is he mystified why anyone would object? If he had it to do all over again — he might do a better job covering his tracks.”

“When smart people insult Poor Sarah to her face and nobody bothers to explain what those words mean — is it just like it never happened? What a waste …”

“Now that you mention it — there WAS something weird about Ryan’s voice. Do you think we saw ‘himself’ — or the Animatronic® version?”

“Not a clue — help me out here: my skills in translating mediocrity into HuffPoBash or vice versa not quite up to either standard. Were you attempting to show contrition for inadvertent fat-fingering? R&R showing the way to invite partyers — then stick them with the bill? Where does this fall on the hypocrisy yardstick these days? IOKIYAR erase inconvenient memories as well?”

“Ma recently went with her manager to get snacks for a ‘customer appreciation day’ — Sam’s Club (boss insisted) yielded up a tray of the nastiest sandwiches you’d ever care to encounter. Nothing says ‘appreciation’ like stale bread, transparent ‘mystery spread’ and ‘rainbow meat’ … I seriously doubt any of those WalMart managers have been trained to allow such complaints to reach Bentonville. Not to worry — here’s a tip: I’ve seen studies that show heavy Lysol usage tends to destroy most of the human ability to taste or smell.”


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