2012 Campaign — Territorial Pissings And Never-Ending Auditions

I_Shall_Call_You_Mini-Moo

“Smack-dab in this global showcase for political irony — they blew it out in Tampa the first day! Turns out Jon Voight isn’t very convincing in his attempts at RW propaganda — and yet; here he is, plugging away! You keep trying to make that tired old boilerplate shine, Jonny! We’re pulling for ya — no matter how badly the never-ending audition inside your head turns out …”

“So — you don’t think Paulistas are eyes-wide-open providing cover for the GOP? All the Repubs ever talk about is ‘Big Tent’ and ‘Everybody’s Welcome’ — but nobody in their right mind (as opposed to Right mind) believes it for a minute. This is little more than a pre-rehearsed wink-and-a-nod to show the world the GOTP’s ‘Boundless Tolerance’ or ‘Let’s Hug and Smooch and Call It A Harmonious Assemblage’ or whatever con inevitability the lockstep Rovian flacks and hacks have re-branded it today …”

(On the RNC anti-porn plank) “Are they not factoring in the inevitable uncomfortable silence greeting them from the Utah delegation? Or is it possible Utahns fail to acknowledge the largest American bloc of consumers of internet porn among their constituency?”

(Willard needs to spend a little down time before the convention in his home state of Michigan — on the off-chance all the soundbites there are just the right length …) “So — they believe they can win without deploying their last-ditch efforts; “Fear — It’s All We Have Left — GOP 2012” and “Romney 2012: Do What We Say And No One Gets Hurt”?”

“Karl Rove weighs in on Missouri politics? Will Karl now convince his buddy, Grover to step up and say ‘Todd Akin would’ve raised taxes while he was cr**ping on Reagan’s grave, anyway.”

“The Voices In My Head told me I was wrong — but I wrote up anyway … “Willard’s early years COULD explain this strange expression; (“ferret in the dishwasher”) since it was previously reported that hazing fellow students (possibly harboring a sexually ambiguous outlook on life) was a task willingly pursued by Willard. Once having found out that this early version of Gerbil Up The Tailpipe failed to produce torture; but seemed to have the reverse result — to this end we therefore discover Willard derives profoundly personal pleasure from the Tea Party. The conclusion? Perhaps we also learn why one or two of the children of Ann and Willard asked him not to run; lest the world discover his preferred method of maintaining ‘familial discipline'” …”

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